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Short Tag Line:
Are you UP for some
Xxxcitement ??
I/We are looking for
We are traveling around the States, if you see us in your area, please get in touch for some XXXcitement. I'm afraid that we cannot host while traveling
We're looking forward to meeting some new friends for prayers and friendship,to sing songs,to bake cakes and muffins. People that enjoy dancing naked around a walnut tree at full moon. Friends to share the meaning of life with,.. people to laugh with,.. (and I don't mean when I pull down my trousers!!!)
Let us all get together, hold hands and sing koom baya.
If you like and want to experience the above, then we are definitely not what you are looking for!!
Describe Yourself:
We're an active, fit, fun loving couple, both with a great sense of humor. The wife is very happily married, I just pretend I am, but I'm not!. We are each others best friend, or that is what I've been told... OK, so she's my only friend, but thats not my fault!! We have a really lousy personal sex life, and I really need the lifestyle just to get "some", we are not in the lifestyle because we enjoy it...cos we don't, but the extra excitement is just a huge boner.. eehh I mean bonus. We have absolutely no jealousy or any other issues. We really don't like meeting new people, but I supose we have to.
The wife is a very beautiful, sexy, sexually charged and generous lady, (or so my mates have told me) and loves to have fun. She does not discriminate between sushi and pork, she loves to get her laughin' muscles wrapped around both.
Me?.. I'm just your average "Hen Pecked" husband, miserable as hell. Words the wife uses to describe me on a daily basis are: fat, ugly, lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, un-romantic, chauvinist, no sense of humor etc.. So, no difference really to all the the other husbands on here..
I look exactly like a cross between Brad Pitt and Shrek... if you can picture that, congratulations the drugs you are taking work!!
Luckily I am the boss, and what I say happens, I pull all the strings in this household and my word is final!!...however, it goes without saying that it has to first be approved by the wife.
We are both very adventurous,(both sexual and non sexual) and outdoors people, we both love diving (both scuba and muff) I love mountaineering and mountain biking. We travel the world pursuing these interests. We both feel comfortable in bivvy bags, but also feel at home at a 5 star inclusive Motel 6
We do not smoke, and apart from strong coffee we don't do drugs. We are very light drinkers and aren't heavily into any fetishes. We both work out, the wife at my mates and with the gym,.. I mean at the gym..(or saying that, probably both!!).. and I walk 2 miles to the nearest KFC every other day.
The wife and myself work together as a well oiled machine, so prefer "same room frolicking" we are very easy to get on with, we talk and we listen.. by that I mean the wife talks and I pretend to listen. We enjoy "Meet & Greets" so no one needs to feel pressured, but we also don't mind taking matters to the restaurant bathroom if things get too heated. I must appologize, but we can no longer meet at our nearest Starbucks, 'cos the wife got rumbled while on her knees... followed by a ban ( we'll tell you the story in person ) We also don't mind meeting at a fancy restaurant, just not my local KFC, cos I can't risk being banned from there.. but any other classy restaurant will be fine.. Burger King, McDonalds you name it, when it comes to good quality nosh, we don't mind parting with the buck!!
The wife loves to be shared, and it breaks my heart when she forces me to pin her down while others have their way with her.
I am as straight as a Roman road, wicked sense of humor, the wife is as bent as a fithteen dollar bill, I'm not from the United States of the USA, but fear ye not, I'm not Canadian either.
Tell you what, get to know us, and I'm sure you will enjoy our company,and when you think back to the time you spent with us, it will put a smile on your chops.. Yeahhh maybe 15 years down the line.. but hey, thats better than nothin'
Tell us about your fantasies and/or real experiences.
Oooohhh Man!!!.. you will need to supply us with proof that your heart is up for it, before we start telling you our fantasies!! And for medical reasons, anyone over 40 only gets to hear the edited versions of our fantasies!!
We have been in the lifestyle for about 3 years now.. yeahhh yeahhh we are still greenies!!.. but we have met a lot of lovely, great and friendly people in the past year..
We are always looking for friendly couples to get to know better, often a lot better, and even sometimes a hell of a lot better!!
We both have many fantasies that hopefully one day we will experience,but we still have a lifetime to fulfill them, it's just the few that we can no longer achieve with the zimmerframe that we are wanting to fulfill sooner rather than later. We're always open to other peoples fantasies.
What else would you like to say, do, see, hear about or learn about.
As you can tell, I'm the quiet type and I am not much of a typer, it has taken me 14 hours to type this profile, and another 23 hours to fix the typo's.. We prefer to exchange phone numbers after 2-3 Emails, and chat to you, rather than play games of Email tennis for 2 and a half years.
We do not mind single guys contacting us, the lady loves you,and needs you. but, PLEASE do not waste our time or your's by contacting us without a picture,and be honest about yourself!!.. last week we spent over an hour in a small Starbucks looking for a 27 year old fella of 6.2ft!!.. Turned out he was born in blimmin 1927 and was 6.2ft shorter than me!!. JUST BE HONEST!!!
Also, we don't expect a 12 volume Dickens, but one liners end up in the bin.
Last but not least STRAIGHT GUYS ONLY PLEASE... and no, we are not homeopathic.. or whatever you call it..
We really do our best to reply to everyone, even if it is to say "Thank You, but no thank you".. so if you do not hear back from us, it has probably to do with the following.
** You sent the message 3 minutes ago, and we have not yet had time to read it, yet alone reply.. Please be patient, in our case there is life outside of SLS.
** You sent a "One Liner".. Man!!, You sending us a message telling us that you want to FCUK my wife really does make our day,I get a massive throbber, and the lady loses control!! We get so excited by it, that I end up doing her myself, and completely forget about you, hence no reply.
** Straight guys only, we have absolutely no problem at all with anyone's sexuallity, but WE are not interested in playing with Bi-Sexual fella's.. so guys sending us a message telling us you would like to burn rubber up my Hershey Highway while eating the wife's sushi is NOT going to get you a reply.
** Just Asking us to open up our Private and Personal Pics.. Why not ask me for all our Credit card details while you are at it??
Other than that, if you sent us a message and have not yet heard back from us please send us a reminder.. Thank you for your understanding.
Ooohh, and while I still have your attention, just let me assure you that ALL our pics are recent.. I'm a 39 year old fella with a bald / shaven head, I don't put a pic on our profile with me lookin' like Jon Bon Jovi in the 80's!!.. nor do I post a 29 year old pic of the lady in a 1974 one piece neon turquoise lycra body suit..
The other day a couple asked if we would like to meet up with them, they kindly sent us a photo.. Now it was obvious it was an antiquity, and the only pleasure I got from it was a trip down memory lane!!.. Remember the old TV's that were the size of a Toyota Tacoma?.. One that needed a massive aerial on the roof.. and on it, was a bloomin VCR... wait for it!.... You're gonna luv this one.... TOP LOADER!!.. hahaha.. can you believe it!?.. the size of a large Coolbox!!... Man you gotta luv 'em!!...
C'mon people!!.. don't take the mick!!,, what is the point sending us a pic from the early 70's!!?.. Do you HONESTLY think we will not notice that you look 43 years older and have lost your hair, teeth and found a gut?
Quotation of the week:
"Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day."
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PS, Anyone who actually read our whole profile, seriously needs to get a life.. (or a job) or even better, get in touch with us, we would love to meet you... You know you want to!!
Hahahaha.... TOP LOADER!!!...I don't care what your name is, or how much you earn, you can't not luv that one!... it's a corker!!
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Xxcitement
